Insight for Brides from the Bible
For some reason, I kept putting off this blog post. I felt in my spirit that it was a message that needed to be told, but something held me back.
The idea that beauty has nothing to with looks is a subject I have wrestled with for awhile. It may be because I am now in my 30s and realize I will not live forever. Or maybe it is because as a wedding veil designer, I am in an industry that highly prizes that picture-perfect wedding moment where bride and groom are flawlessly posed and glowing.
Whatever the reason is, this was a hard one for me to write. But I think it is a story that needs to be told.
In this blog post, we will discuss one particular Bible verse that talks about beauty. We will also talk about why the verse is relevant for brides and couples getting married.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight."
1 Peter 3:4
Some context for the Bible verse from James
This Bible verse is so counter-cultural that it is easy to dismiss. But I would challenge you to take a deeper look.
It goes on to discuss how beauty is shown through obedience and submissiveness to your husband... yikes! Now that is a message that is radically counter-coulteral.
We are often bombarded with ideas of what beauty looks like and instructed to look or act a certain way. But in truth, lasting beauty only comes from within. And guess what - this inner beauty never fades! It is a type of beauty that never gets grey hairs and never gets wrinkles.
Living life with kindness, respect, and compassion is one of the most beautiful things you can do. No matter your age, gender, or station in life, a compassionate heart can be seen by all. It brings beauty to a person, and those that witness it will be moved by the grace and dignity of their spirit. Your beauty should come from a disposition of kindness, respect, and compassion, and be an unfading quality that is of immense value both to you and to God.
The problem of focusing on outward beauty for your wedding
Maybe some brides highly disagree with me. After all, isn't your wedding all about how everything looks? Getting all glammed up and showing off the best physical version of yourself?
There is a problem with this focus on appearance though. For many overwhelmed brides, the pressure of looking the most beautiful they've ever looked on their wedding day can be overwhelming. After all, all eyes will be on them as they make their way down the aisle. From choosing the perfect dress to picking just the right makeup and hairstyle, the pressure to look perfect, especially in an age where social media and photos dominate, can become overwhelming.
I have met brides who are so stressed out that they have experienced hair falling out and intense acne... so sad! Who needs this pressure when the important point is that you are marrying the love of your life?
Your day is about making memories and celebrating the union of two people in love. And remember that your beauty that radiates from within will outshine even the most glamorous of wedding looks.
Internal beauty can outshine even the most beautiful exterior features.
It’s a universally accepted truth that physical attractiveness can often be a mask for ugliness of character. Many people may be familiar with the term ‘beauty being only skin-deep’, and it’s particularly relevant when dealing with this topic. It’s possible to encounter someone who is outwardly gorgeous, but who’s inner self is not so pleasant.
This issue is one that we see a lot in today’s society, particularly with the rise of celebrity culture. We’re surrounded by people who are avatars of physical perfection, but who may be lacking in the more internal qualities that define us as humans. We celebrate the good looks of movie stars, models, and influencers, but forget to look at what lies beneath.
More often than not, those who are beautiful on the outside can also be beautiful on the inside. But sadly, the opposite is true too. Even the most attractive people can possess ugly personalities. It’s important to take the time to look deeper, to assess people for their character and values, rather than just the way they look. True beauty, after all, is not skin-deep and if we can appreciate this, we can learn to focus on the real beauty in our lives.
How to plan your wedding without comparison while cultivating a beautiful inner spirit
Planning your wedding should be a celebration of your love and commitment, not a competition with others. In order to ditch comparison and cultivate your beautiful inner spirit, it’s important to focus on yourself and your partner — not what anyone else is doing or what Pinterest tells you.
I believe that spending time with Jesus will always create a more beautiful spirit. So if you don't know where to start, then start there.
As you go throughout the planning process, remind yourself of the real purpose of the wedding: to celebrate your union with your partner. Once you remember why you’re doing this, the rest of the planning process will become more enjoyable.
Let go of unrealistic expectations and realize that your inner spirit matters most.